Ding Dong Altar Boy *
Ding Dong Altar Boy *
Ding Dong Blurb
The kind of stories you’d eavesdrop on in a bar—just to retell later for laughs.
From driving a car down the hallways of a high school (on purpose) to leaping over a corpse mid-run, these true tales serve up the kind of chaos you couldn’t invent if you tried. Ever sneak into a drive-in with a trunk full of friends? Work at a local radio station where everything falls apart? Convince an entire college that Neil Diamond’s wife is roaming campus incognito? Yeah, it’s that kind of story.You’ll meet a few unforgettable dogs, endure a meltdown at Spaghetti Works, and sidestep a falling tree by the skin of your teeth. Whether it’s demolition derbies, raising kids, wrangling a forest fire, or making gloriously bad choices on the back-roads of western Nebraska, this collection will throw you headfirst into the wild, messy comedy of growing up.If you’re after the kind of stories that turn into legendary bar chatter, this book is calling your name. Grab a drink, settle in, and get ready for a rollercoaster of mischief and mayhem.
Get your copy today.
Gold Star Review
We have been honored to receive a coveted 5 Star Gold Seal from Reader Views. Check it out!
Reviewed by Ada Jenkins for Reader Views (06/2025)
It has been said that a day without laughter is a day wasted, a saying that the authors of The Ding-Dong Altar Boy: And Other Tales of an Affirmation Junkie know only too well. Coauthoring this book with his talented sister, Anna Schmidt, author Donald Osborn immerses the reader in the quirky world of his small hometown of Chadron, Nebraska. With a unique blend of humor and eagle-eyed insight, these side-splitting short stories cover a range of topics—from first-time car ownership to the perils of hang gliding, and almost everything else in between.
Written from a first-person point of view, the narrative is engaging. The tongue-in-cheek, oftentimes flippant tone elicits plenty of laughs throughout. What makes this book stand out is the skillful blending of lighthearted humor with wistful reflection, making this a profoundly immersive collection that manages to delve beneath the surface. A good example of this is the amusing, youthful shenanigans at the Starlite Drive-In, an anecdote that is counterbalanced with an undercurrent of nostalgia that tugs at the heartstrings.
This book will appeal to fans of humorous fiction and memoirs. The short story format is an ideal stage for each standalone chapter to play out, with the reader being taken on an emotionally compelling, thought-provoking journey. Puns, allusions, and wordplay are skillfully interwoven, creating a playful and inventive narrative style. One of the chapters, for example, is titled “Not So Great Expectations.” Cultural references and the inclusion of factual information—such as estimates indicating that 50 percent of people pursued similar careers to their parents in the 1970s—combine facts with anecdotes, broadening out the context.
These individual chapters in the author’s life are told in a non-linear style, with time shifts between childhood and adulthood. The result is a dynamic, colorful collection of short stories. One of my personal favorites is “Haunted by the Friendly Ghost.” This is a funny, touching story that revolves around a coveted plush toy at Christmastime. The author skillfully portrays the events with the authentic voice of a young boy, then as a mature adult, capable of viewing the situation in a new light. Touching upon family dynamics, the challenges of being a single parent, as well as many other relevant topics—such as Osborn’s fascinating experiences as a pilot and songwriter—this collection covers a vast range of topics.
Interestingly, the book is accompanied by its own Spotify playlist. Iconic songs, such as “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker Junior and Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild,” set a lighthearted and amusing tone, interacting with the content of each individual chapter. This interplay between music and words works well, enhancing my overall enjoyment of the book.
The ability to evoke a spectrum of emotions in the reader is what makes Osborn a master storyteller. With laugh-a-minute humor and wistful recollections, this is a truly uplifting book. Charmingly told with wit and empathy, the hilarious, touchingly poignant stories in The Ding-Dong Altar Boy are guaranteed to make you laugh until your sides hurt.
Ding Dong Playlist
This book comes with a carefully curated Spotify playlist handpicked by Donald to accompany each story. Two original songs by the author are featured, "Drunk on Wine," and "Kenny in the Tree."
Ding Dong Discussions
Book Clubs, Here’s Your Discussion Guide.
Welcome, book clubs! Whether you meet in a living room, a library, or over drinks at the local bar, this guide is designed to spark lively conversation, laughter, and maybe a few “remember when…” moments of your own.
As you read and discuss, we invite you to reflect on the themes beneath the mischief—friendship, resilience, growing up, and the kinds of stories that become legend in every family or friend group. This guide offers questions to get your club talking, laughing, and maybe even sharing a few personal adventures of your own.
So settle in, pass the snacks, and let the stories roll.
Behind the Scenes: Cover Design
Curious how a 1909 painting became the face of a book about mayhem, mischief, and memory? Spoiler: It involves vandalism, Pinterest, and a healthy sense of humor. Get the scoop here.